Top 30 Funniest Gym Quotes (Gym-Humor Best-Of)

Some people take the gym very seriously, and for good reason, as any doctor will suggest doing exercise regularly to keep the body active and maintain good health.

However, the gym doesn’t always have to be serious, and even the most serious of gym freaks can recognize that there certainly is a funny side to a bunch of people in a room together making strange movements and jumping about.

In fact, whether you’re a long-time gym-goer or a newbie, you’re sure to have had the odd chucklesome blunder at one point or another.

So, without further ado, we’ve put together this collection of the 30 funniest gym quotes that any gym-goer should be able to relate to.

Popular Funny Gym Quotes

Here is a compilation of the most popular funny exercise and gym quotes.


“I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” ― Neil Armstrong 

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“When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.” ― Robert M. Hutchins

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“If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most.” ― Jason Love

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“If you’re using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?” Dave Attell

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“I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” ― Marsha Doble

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“I always say to myself right before a tough set in the gym, Ain’t nothin’ to it, but to do it.” ― Ronnie Coleman

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“A reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class somewhere pulls a hamstring.” ― Allan Roth

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“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh… try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

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“Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I’m a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash.” ― Fergie

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“When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they’re going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they’re going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.” ― Douglas Coupland

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Best Humorous Gym Quotes

Fitness can be tough, but there’s also a lot to laugh at and it shouldn’t be frowns all the way, so let’s let this next batch of comical quotes can help you blow off a little steam.


“Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body.” Cher

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“Let’s have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle.” ― Earl Blumenauer

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“You ever look for the remote control, but you can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, guess I’m not watching TV. I’m not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I’ll go to the gym if I’m going to work out.” ― Jim Gaffigan

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“Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don’t exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray ‘Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.” ― Jack LaLanne

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“I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.” ― Fred Allen

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“The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.” ― Jim Gaffigan

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Motivational Funny Gym Quotes

These motivational funny gym quotes will help you stay inspired and give you the extra push you need to achieve your daily fitness goals.

But be conscious if you laugh too loudly at these funny gym quotes, your gym manager might not rate you highly. 


“Remember this: your body is your slave; it works for you.” ― Jack LaLanne

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“I think in life you should work on yourself until the day you die.” ― Serena Williams

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“Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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“I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else – I don’t want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow.” ― Douglas Coupland

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“Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital.” ― Amit Kalantri

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“I can’t believe we got grades in gym class. I’ve never used anything I learned in there.” ― Jim Gaffigan

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“I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training .” ― Immortal Souls

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“If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor.” ― Christiaan Barnard

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One-Line Funny Gym Quotes

You really have to stay on top on the way to your fitness journey and not give up even when the going gets tough.

The following amazing one-line funny gym quotes will amuse you and help you stay inspired.


“Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going!” ― Jillian Michaels

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“Weights before dates.” ― Unknown 

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“Hi baby abs! I see you!” ― Khloe Kardashian

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“My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.” ― Phyllis Diller

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“Education is important, but big biceps are importanter.” ― Unknown

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 “I only workout, because I really really like donuts.” ― Unknown

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The Wrap-Up!

Any Gym goer, amateur or pro, can certainly relate to one or two of the quick-witted quotes above.

Feel free to share this piece with your workout mates or bookmark it for a good chuckle later on when you’re feeling down about your workout routine.

You might also like our article on: 30 Funny Fitness Quotes To Bring Humor To Your Sport.

Photo of author
Paul Smith recently completed his first 100 mile ultra, graduating to the field after discovering running in 2014 and getting hooked on 5k's and 10k's.

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