THE PERFECTION CHASERS fies

The Challenge of Testing Limits

BY JENNY HADFIELD (age 33, 18 completed marathons, 3:40 PR)

M Y PASSION for running evolved over time. I remember as a young child seeking out adventure, testing my limits (as well as my parents’ limits), constantly pushing for more. To go farther, faster, stronger, and to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It didn’t bother me that I wasn’t the fastest or best athlete. I was motivated by the challenge. Twenty-five years later, I’m still on that journey of exploration, enjoying all the experiences that cross my path. In my youth, I would hop on my banana seat Schwinn and ride to the outskirts of town, each day riding a little farther to see where I would end up. I was fueled by the unknown, waiting to find higher ground. I have a constant yearning to discover new pathways mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When looking back at my life, I realize that running has allowed me to reach many places, overcome obstacles, and nurture my inner strength. But that reality has come over a long stretch of time.

My adolescent goals involved holding a head stand as long as anyone on the block, to ride my green machine down the driveway and over the grass without falling off, and to bicycle a little farther away from home each day. I’ve always been active and very competitive. I participated in many sports, which kept me out of serious trouble and provided a valuable source of motivation to exercise. Although I was active as a youth, I hated the thought of running. My first experiences with running were not pretty, most of them, involuntary. Many coaches used running as a form of punishment. If I missed a basketball shot, I would have to run laps. A volleyball serve into the net earned more laps. And I will never forget the dreaded suicide sprints!

Because of these training tactics, I quickly developed negative associations with running. The very thought of running sent me into a nauseous tizzy. Plus, once puberty set in, I was a bit chubby, which made me self-conscious while running. I never felt completely comfortable. In my mind, running was reserved for the lean of body and the fleet of foot.

DEALING AWAY THE NEGATIVE

My negative associations with running never stopped me from trying. Running was for me the Mt. Everest of climbs. The inability to succeed infuriated me. I could not see past the wall that stood so dauntingly across my path, and I was compelled to find a way to break through it. I would strap on my shoes and head down the driveway, thinking it’l/ be different this time. But time after time, I didn’t get much farther than the end of the block. My attempts atrunning always ended with frustration, fatigue, and the agony of defeat.

My passion for running developed later in life, when I was challenged by co-workers to run a local 8K race. I had been active in cycling for a few years but always managed to avoid the “‘r” word. My friends took me by the hand and led me, patiently, to the race. Little by little, we sprinkled running into my training. I was clearly tricking my body into running, and it didn’t even notice.

I finished that first 5-mile race in 59:36. I could not have cared less about my time. I was overwhelmed at the success in completing the entire race. It didn’t even bother me that I was beaten by a 75-year-old man (this detail, by the way, was announced over the PA system).

I walked away from that race with my head held high, knowing there would be many more races to conquer. I had tasted the appetizer and now developed a growing hunger for the entree. That night, I wore my race shirt to bed and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

[had finally found the key to unlock my motivation. Racing provided the tool I had long been without—a carrot, a target to work toward. Establishing goals quickly helped me to improve my running. I was no longer running purely for health and fitness; I was training to improve performance. I began using words and phrases like “personal record” and “endorphins.” I focused more clearly, trained smarter, and ran stronger. To this day, in the absence of a goal, I lose focus and begin merely to go through the motions.

It wasn’t long before I yearned to go farther, just as I had on my bike in my youth. I ran the Lake County Races Half-Marathon to test my limits. This was my first taste of long-distance running. I finished strong that day, but watching the marathoners continue through the second half of their race, I swore to myself I would never attempt the full 26.2 miles. Those people were crazy!

Only a few days passed before I began to dream of going the full marathon distance. Certainly, I thought, if Iran a marathon I would be a “real” runner. It’s funny how quickly the distance can be rationalized.

Iwondered whatit felt like to run past 13 miles. The mystery itself was enough to get me started. I trained with a group that summer for the Chicago Marathon. Every long run was an achievement. As I progressed through the season, I grew stronger and developed the confidence it would take to finish the race.

I was motivated extrinsically by the attention from my family and friends. The training group provided an emotional bond that carried me through many long runs. But I was struck most intensely by the fire that burned deep within my soul. I had a strong sense I was headed down the right path and that everything was in alignment.

MARATHON DEBUT

That summer, everything came together for me. I ran the Chicago Marathon through snow and high winds in 3:59. Nothing would have stopped me from reaching the finish line that day. Afterward, I wore my medal for days, glowing with pride. At last, I felt like a real runner

It took a few days for the PMS to set in. Postmarathon syndrome. The blues hit me hard. I was feeling the loss of structure and a lack of purpose. My Saturdays were open; no carrot dangled before me. I realized then that I had enjoyed the journey more than I enjoyed reaching the land of Oz. The passion for training grew from the pleasure of meeting the scarecrow, tin man, and lion along the trail and fighting off the wicked witch. The journey had become a part of my life.

The best way to get out of any depression is to jump back up, dust off your singlet, and set anew goal for yourself. My new goals revolved around the next limit—the ultimate marathon. I wanted to go to Boston—but not just any Boston Marathon. I wanted to be in the 100th running of the Boston Marathon. My great uncle had run at Boston, so I felt the race was in my genes. All Ineeded to do was shed 20 minutes off my best and only marathon time.

Itrainedintenselythatsummer. Focused, determined, and slightly .« °™* os * possessed, I ate, slept, and drank 9% Boston. I knew I couldn’t rely on ; ; i natural ability, as I wasn’t a fast runner by nature. It would take everything Ihad physically, mentally, and emotionally to qualify. I set the stage and organized a support crew along the marathon course. The season progressed; everything felt perfect, and I was ready to qualify.

Jenny Hadfield lives and trains in Chicago, always seeking to reach new heights in her running.

Jenny Hadfield THE CHALLENGE OF TESTING LIMITS Mi 49

After running 18 marathons, I believe you know during the first 5 miles how the race will unfold. You either have it, or you left it on the trail. I knew the very moment I passed the first aid station that this was just not my day. Regardless, I chose to continue, and I learned a lot about myself that day.

By the time I hit 10 miles, I was already seeing the wall in the distance. My friend joined me at 18 miles, and I had to walk the rest of the course. Needless to say, I was way off qualifying and felt completely dejected.

EVERYBODY’S A CRITIC

I will never forget crawling the last few feet to the finish line. A little boy yelled out, “Hey, she shouldn’t get a medal. She’s walking!”

At the time, I threw mental daggers at the kid, but to this day I thank him for those words. It was alesson Iam thankful I learned the hard way. I was trying to qualify for everyone but myself. I was flowing in the extrinsic attention and trying so hard to prove that I was a real runner capable of going to Boston.

One month later, I set off for Columbus, Ohio, to run another marathon. This time my goal was to run my best. The pressure of performing was off my shoulders; this one was for me.

Every marathon I run I learn a little more about myself. That day I ran my heart out without the pressure of the clock, my friends, or Boston. I now understand that my best performances come when they are done without pressure. I qualified that day with three seconds to spare. I was headed to Boston.

It’s been several years, and I’ ve run Boston and other marathons since then. The first one will always be special, as it represents a time when I was coming into my own. I was defining who I am and what I am capable of doing. I find now more than ever that I select my goals more wisely. I want to reach new heights rather than visiting old ones. It is the diversity in goals that keeps them stimulating.

Motivation runs in cycles. I have good and bad days. It’s the bad days that allow the good days to shine so brightly. I’ ve jumped obstacles and overcome weaknesses through the years. My accomplishments have helped me gain insight into who I am. The mark of a true runner is having the courage to seek his or her limits while at the same time knowing the boundaries. I’m beyond running for the medal or the T-shirt. I know my passion for running involves learning more about myself and in finding what lies on the Bs other side. ‘

FLORIDA IN JANUARY…

TEMPTING, HUH?

Sure, the weather is great now, but think ahead to next January.

THINK FLORIDA!

Think award-winning beaches, fun family attractions and world class museums. think Super Bowl Week and super celebrations leading up to the big game in Tampa.

Think of our ideal weather, for both running and for a winter vacation. Think of our flat, fast and scenic course.

For runners who want more than just another 26.2 mile course, the second annual Florida Gulf Beaches Marathon is the place to race next winter.

2ND ANNUAL

& MARATHON RELAY

JANUARY 21, 2001+ 7:00 A.M. CLEARWATER, FLORIDA

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